Day Twelve: Pierre Saint Martin (again)

And then there were two.

With the departure of the Shrimper, Hippo and Swampbeast, only the Weaner and Thuggo were left to keep the good name of Pendle International alive.

There was big talk of going out sharking in Tarbes, but the stinking pig-dogs in the station put paid to that plan, the feckers. So, we sped back to beard HQ for cheese, bread and vino at 0000hrs !

Early rise at 1000hrs for the Weaner, a spot of cleaning, then Thuggo arose at 1100hrs. At 1230hrs we were off to the cave ! A sensible time to depart, none of this 0900 Webbo-time for us ! No sir !

Arrived at the cave around 1500hrs in the scorching sun dans le camera gear this time and headed to the EDF tunnel door. Some fecker had wired it shut, so out came the Whitby, but not wanting to dull its magical powers on the thick copper cable, the Weaner put his brain into action and found a way to open it ! Well with me and Andy putting our full weight against the door, we could just about hold it against the howling draft, so very carefully we eased it back and let the 40mph gusting wind cool us.

Basque local as seen on the way to the cave

A traditional Basque welcome !

The windy tunnel entrance

Quick shoot up to the Gallery d'Metro, then a running photography trip on the way back to the Salle de Verna, passing a number of stinking pig-dogs in boilersuits and trainers. On exiting the beast, we treated ourselves to a few cooling beers in the Bar d'huge Dog and finished off the day nicely with lasagne, vino and some well earned chilling.

PSM survey with rollover pictures

Roll over the yellow spots on the survey to see the pictures! No need to click.

Oh, on the way back we both pissed into the pond Stevey had put his tadpoles in, purely to increase the water level in their pond you understand…………

It was fecking hot in my pit last night. Thankfully there were only about 5 million flies (even after a prolonged swatting session), crawling over my glistening flesh, mating, strutting, enjoying the warmth as the mammal thrashed, unable to sleep in the sweltering heat. Still, at least I wasn't cramped in a stinking train……………yet.


Pendle International Top Tens :

Talking Points - the Year 2002

1). Swampy - What a beast, what a freak, what a violation on humanity. Swamps - we salute you, your belching, your vile stories of brown love, old lady violation, halycygenic anecdotes and your shower clagging hair has made PISS 2002 the freak-fest it needed to be, without us having to leave the comfort of our gite.

2). Stevey Bloom - Can this man get any madder ?? Only PISS 2003 can tell……….

3). Norks - mmmm…….. Thanks to Madame Lenord's gift of a television to PISS '02, we've had the treats of French TV. Pendle tigers have kept 'em peeled all week and had some happy nights in !

4). Mexican Staring Locals - We've seen plenty, some fine specimens indeed. Half baked in the Pyrenean sun, these hickey locals have gazed hard upon the sight of five strangers in a Renault Scenic.

5). Sad lack of local bars and restaurants - You'd think the feckers would realise that by serving food and drink to tourists they'd make a few bob. No, not these folk. Every god damn place in the region closed it's doors to us - except Bar John Michael - but we wish he had !

6). Bar John Michael and his mad wife and customers - enough about this flop house has been said already !

7). French shops - OPEN YOU FECKERS. All we want is some bread, a bit of cheese and some milk every few days. Is this too much to ask ? Opening between 0800 - 0900 and 1800 - 1830 hrs is not the way to run a business in my opinion.

8). Belgium Ubercavers - Are they real ?!?!?!

9). Feral Dogs - They run in the road, at your car and sleep in your right of way. Someone shoot them please !

10). Pearshape - Never a PISS expedition goes by without reference to the God of Ocker that is Monsieur Bradley. Pearshape, you are the original freak and still the best in my opinion………like.

Hard Caving Trips (so far)

1). Couey Lodge: What a long fecker !

2). Strangle Pot: Don't go there !

3). Car Pot: Hardest with Baptistry Crawl blocked.

4). Marcaibo Passage: Only T1 to 3 have every done it !

5). Newby Moss Pot: Wobbly thrutch-a-rama.

6). Northern Lights, OFD II: No food, strong grass and pepper vodka madness.

7). Penyghent Pot: Not good on a hairy ale hangover !

8). Meregill Hole: It's a toughy alright.

9). Couey Lodge rigging and de-rigging.

10). Getting up before 10am !